


Unknowns

by dafucc



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dark, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Pedophilia, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dafucc/pseuds/dafucc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey's shower isn't working, Maz isn't home, and Kylo is the only one left to go to.<br/>Long au fic. Started as a one shot but I will be uploading multiple chapters.This will be dark but it will be fluffy too. <br/>No smut. Not incest. No pedophilia on Reylo, but implied with Snoke and Kylo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shower Wars

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo. first reylo fic. i really love writing kylo and reys characters. hope you like this, comment and all that. if you wanna get a feel of how im interpreting kylo, listen to my [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/zevthebutt/playlist/6Ix8BzZiuOJfDDaHvkIRqv%0A) "fic shit" on my spotify
> 
> remember to comment and leave a kudos!

Kylo laid on his bed reading his favorite classic book with loud music pulsing through his ears. The day was nice enough to not anger him. With the soft sun gently prodding through his blinds along with the wind, he let out a content sigh. This was the happiest he had felt since he started working with Snoke. His work with him had been brutal, several of their pickups involved fights. He had been appointed as the main interrogator, the leader of the gang under Snoke’s command.

Being constantly tested, put into rooms and isolated. He had to learn how to answer the questions a government official would ask him without lying. Kylo had to endure physical pains of torture for months straight before Snoke deemed he was ready. Even after his training was complete, he had to keep up his pace with almost weekly ‘training’ sessions. He was growing tired of the work.

A loud rapping on his front door jerked him from the trance he had entered. Grumbling, he snapped his book shut, looped his headphones around his neck, and began skulking to the door. The loud knocking came back not even a second later causing him to run a hand down his face annoyed. With a twist of his wrist, he pulled the door open, glaring at the person in front of him. Realization etched its way into his eyes and face, his body torturing him with a blush. Lips opening and closing wordlessly, he attempted to keep his eyes focused on hers only.

“Hey, Kylo…” Rey was smiling up at him, a towel draped around her body with shampoo still seeping through the strands her hair.

He smiled nervously at her, knuckles turing white from the grip he held on the door. Words didn’t form, thoughts failed to pass through his mind. Instead, he stared back at her blankly as she continued with the explanation of her situation. He hadn't realized he wasn't paying attention when her long sigh booked through his thoughts.

“…So long story short, I need your shower because I have a date in a few hours.” Rey’s eyes gleamed up at him, hopeful pleading.

Kylo eyed her nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets and hunching over, subconsciously meeting her at eye level.

“Why can’t you use Maz’s shower?” He had hoped the question was perceived as innocent, but it held quiet the opposite impact.

Rey rubbed the back of her neck and a flash of regret flashed across her eyes as the soap in her hair coated her fingers.

“She’s out for a whole month.” her foot was tapping against the floor in an impatient manner, “Something about meeting with some business partners.” Nodding his head lightly and licking his lips, Kylo shrugged, holding the door wider so she could enter the complex. She smiled gratefully, the fear washing off of her face. He looked away quickly, trying to hide the burning red on his ears.

“Yeah, sure go ahead.” Walking away from the door, Kylo began to lead her to the bathroom door. She followed quietly behind him and Kylo could tell she was taking his apartment in.

His apartment was far from clean, water bottles and coffee mugs littering his coffee table, scarves draped over the couch with his jackets stacked on a island chair. Cracking his knuckles to relieve his anxiety, Kylo tried to feel unashamed about the state of his living area. She had never seen his home before, and this was the first impression he was going to give her? Rey’s home is probably the neatest place ever, he thought to himself. Ultimately, he couldn’t calm his nerves and they simmered above the line he had hoped to keep it under. In the depths of his abdomen, everything began to churn and his jaw clenched.

Thankfully they got to the bathroom door and he watched as she opened it, hesitating to close it. Her eyes were skimming in no particular direction, searching for a string of words perhaps. After a few moments, she looked up at him, breaking out the same smile that made his chest ache.

He hated it.

“I’ll repay you for this, I promise.” Her neck craned up in his direction, she waited for his response, dribbling the door lightly between her hands.

“You, uh, you shouldn’t…” Tripping over his tongue, Kylo trailed off, the sentence coming to a lousy end. Her smile remained plastered to her face and he watched her glimmering eyes disappear as the door shut.

All resolve broke once she shut the door and he strode away from the door, his heart beating violently. Hands clawing through his hair, Kylo felt the anger fuel him as he mentally beat himself up for his stutters, his weakness, her, of all people, breaking his cool composure with an appearance. His hands now moved down to his arms as he dug deep with his nails, dragging hard enough to bleed. He welcomed the pain as the cotton of his shirt sleeve dropped and scrapped against the wound. Over the course of his self hating rampage, he sat on the couch, chest heaving and shoulders shaking as he attempted to regain his composure.

Kylo felt weak, broken. He knew why, he knew it was because of the girl, Rey. The feelings she brought to him were foreign and unusual, something he resented yet would beg for. He wasn’t supposed to act like this. These shower visits should only be kept to a one time thing, he couldn’t let anything form between them.

For the next half hour he went over the conversation in his head, playing over all her reactions and his reactions. His confidence slowly started leaking back into him, almost all affection rid from him. In the distance, the rumble of the shower halted and soon the door opened. Letting her approach, he stood, back straight and chin up.

“You have to use Maz’s shower from now on.” He started cold and sharp, everything he didn’t want to be in her presence. But he had to, he had to keep himself safe. Keep her safe.

The expression that fired back at him was all he needed to feel a sharp stab of guilt in his chest but he quickly pushed the feeling away. Confusion replaced the serenity on her face and she threw her hand out while the other held on to her towel, gesturing to Maz’s apartment.

“But she’s not back for a month?” Her eyes narrowed, her accent sharp on the last word.

"Find a key,” Kylo remained stoic as Rey burned into his eyes with sharp anger, “I don’t care.” He did.

Nose scrunched and a fist clenched to the side of her, she shoved at his chest hard. Thrown off balance, he prodded the bruise she created with his fingers. When she saw the scars on his arms, her eyes softened for a moment before returning back to anger so quickly it was like they had never changed.

His eyes traced the flat plane of the wall as she walked out from behind him, slamming the door after loudly shouting where she’ll shove the key once she got it. Emotions crashing through his ribs again, he collapsed back to the couch, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. Fingers still poking at the bruise, a smile smirk etched up his lips. She was strong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the long wait, I've been trying to catch up on school. This chapter is another one for character development but I promise it'll get to actual plot soon. I'm hoping this fic to be a long AU. Let me know if you have any questions, if you see any mistakes, etc. As always you can message me on tumblr (kylosdicksaber.tumblr.com) and all that. 
> 
> Leave a kudos and maybe a comment if you enjoyed! <3

Pushing himself past his limits was the only form of torture that he preformed. Whether it be mentally or physically, he never gave himself a break. Snoke didn’t disapprove either, neither did Phasma or Hux. He always returned to his apartment dripping with sweat or tears, depending on what he wanted to focus on that day. Yet his mind still lingered to the jerk that would occasionally cross his mind. 

 

Hux, the one he had been trying to impress since he had first met him. Not out of spite, no. He wanted to be his equal, for Hux to look at Kylo the same way he wanted him. It was useless though; Hux hated him. Everything Kylo did, Hux hated. From getting the approval of Snoke or successfully interrogating a subject, Hux envied him at every moment. Kylo knew it, the eyes would always be on the back of his head, sometimes staring at him directly in the eye. Emotions were not to be shown among associates and Kylo was thankful for that. It was getting easier to channel his frustration of unrequited love with anger and hate instead. It was always easier. 

 

Shutting the front door behind him, Kylo dropped his gym bag by his bedroom, pushing himself to the bathroom, denying himself the luxury of sitting down after running for the past two hours. A numbing sensation soon followed a jab of pain in his thighs but he ignored it. He grabbed a clean towel from the closet in the bathroom and roughly shoved himself into the shower. He let the hot water soak through his skin, water droplets running off his lip and chin, dribbling down his throat. 

 

Thinking isn't something Kylo enjoyed doing. He saw it as a waste of time, something that will just make things more difficult in the long run. Instead, he relied on his instincts, gut feelings, and the orders of Snoke. What people admired as the thought process, Kylo resented. Almost tauntingly, his thoughts arose from the depths he had dug it into. 

 

His parents always clawed at the back of his mind. He hated them. He knew he hated them, what else would that tight clenched feeling in his chest be? It was a painful feeling, obviously it related to hate. They abandoned him even from birth. His mother was always off at work, sleeping as soon as she hit the bed, which she didn’t delay. She tried her best, he knew. She was working for the family, but sometimes Kylo felt she cared more for the people rather than him. Sometimes she would take him to the meetings when he was younger and he would spend the day with his mother in silence, the only company being his video games or his books. Weekends were heaven with his mother, he remembers. She would take him hiking in the wilderness with Uncle Luke, paint on each others faces. But that all last only a few years. When he hit the double digits, she was absorbed once again. Something about another Order rising, but he didn’t care; He just wanted his mother. 

 

Han, on the other hand, was always off with his friend, completing jobs for Mom. Always going to different countries, always absent. He couldn't say much about him, he never had any fond memories of him. As a child, Kylo had always strived to be like him, to impress him, only to be turned away with a, “That’s great kid.” and a curt nod. Kylo hated him ever since, he hated his smirk, his eyes, everything about Han, inside and out. He wanted to go back, to just change things and… 

 

No, Kylo hated them. He’s never going back. They treated him like shit, abandoned him, left him to the dust. They were too busy with their own lives, their own jobs to even pay attention to the kid they wanted. They gave up on him, he knew it. He knew as soon as they sent him to Luke’s after his continuous tantrums and mood swings. Luke had “dealt with these things before” so he was sent off like some dog to undergo training. To be changed into something that he wasn’t.

 

A loud slam and he turned the shower off, drying himself off with his towel. He then whipped it to the laundry basket and hurriedly threw on his sweatpants. During his haste, a metallic object glinted at the corner of his eye. Disallowing it to roll on the tiled floor, he picked it up, staring at it for the millionth time the past week. 

 

Rey had left the cap of her shampoo bottle in his shower and he had kept it ever since, a small token of self indulgence he knew he should have given back quite some time ago. She should've come back for it a long time, but he knew she probably hated him. Rey hated him. The idea, no fact, of her feelings regarding him sent the same pain through his chest whenever he thought of his parents. He hated Rey. 

 

Another look at the cap and his stomach churned. Kylo stomped out of his bathroom and into the hallway. Kylo stood before her door, his clenched fist about to slam the weak slab of wood. As his knuckles almost made contact with the surface, the door opened. Taken aback, Kylo stood dazed for a moment. A blur of brown skin and black hair stood in front of him and Kylo focused his eyes. 

 

“Hey, Kylo.” Poe smiled widely, reaching up to ruffle Kylo’s still wet hair. His limbs went stiff at the contact. Kylo mumbled a weak hello back, still dazed. How did he get here?

 

“Bye, Poe! I’ll see you and Finn tonight!” Rey was behind her kitchen counter, leaning over with her hand frantically waving in the air. The warm presence of Poe left in a matter of seconds and Kylo felt his grip on reality returning. His grip on the metallic cap returning. 

 

“Rey.” Her name was sharp on his tongue, his anger returning. He stomped forward towards her. Rey furrowed her brows, a deep scowl carving its way onto the lips he so wanted to— 

 

“What do you want?” She didn’t look fearful as she spat the words at his now close proximity. He admired her. Kylo held the cap up in front of her eyes for a moment before stiffly slamming it to the counter between her hands. 

 

“Don’t leave your things in my house.” Several glares were sent between them, he could see Rey fuming, her tolerance for annoyances such as him brimming over edge. She slammed her hand on the counter, the sudden noise jerking Kylo from his thoughts. His face relaxed for a moment. 

 

“First,” she began, her voice failing to keep steady, “you walk into my house _without_ permission, get angry at me for a damned shampoo cap,” the cap was shaken in front of his eyes, “and honestly think I’m ever going to be in your house again?” A shade of red flowed from Rey’s throat to her face as she regarded him in angry silence. 

 

For once he had nothing to say. Lips opening and closing, he refused to meet her eyes, instead Kylo wrung his hands and stared at his toes. Words began to form on his tongue again, and he looked up to meet her eyes. 

 

“Rey, I’m sor—” She cut him off with a sharp wave of her hand, beginning her rant again. 

 

“Now you want me to think your apology is sincere, right?” Rey paced around him, arms waving in the air. He stayed put, “And you think that appearing shirtless will somehow let you assert your dominance or some crap?” 

 

Fear ran through his body and his eye popped open. Face flushed, he hunched over himself, tears brimming at the rim of his eyes. She saw him. No one is supposed to see him. No one. Rey saw the scars, the bruises, everything. Without another word. he frantically shook his head and slammed through the front door and into his apartment. He finally let his tears fall, trying to quell to the anxiety that ravaged his body. It all came to no avail. He collapsed to the floor, pulling the blanket from the couch over his half naked body. He felt exposed now, vulnerable. It was a feeling he never wanted to experience again. 

 

She was right. He was an asshole, he had no right to treat her that way. He hurt her. He can’t go near her anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am SO sorry this took so long. I was running through some writer's block and I had no idea how to write this chapter. I apologize if it seems rushed or short. Let me know what you think and feedback/suggestions on ANYTHING is 100% welcome. Enjoy! <3  
> (All the relationships written are just how I perceived it from the film and novelization with my own personal head canons)

As soon as Kylo pushed the door open, he was met with the cold, comforting embrace the coffee shop offered compared to the scalding temperatures outside. The coffee shop was filled with people, each chatting and laughing, enjoying their lives. The worst they would have to worry about was the death of a family member, the loss of a job. They wanted exciting lives and he sure as hell would trade for what they had right now. Tongue darting across his lips, he stole a glance at a person’s latte. How did it taste, he wondered. Too late to figure that out now though, he had work to do.

He was at the gym when he had received a text from Hux. Kylo remembered his heart pounding faster than it should have as he ran. That was the first time Hux ever talked to him outside of work. He knew it was wrong to think this way, but he couldn't resist. Kylo pulled his phone from the strap on his arm. Several scenarios ran through his head, his heart beating faster with each, hands shaking from something that wasn't exhaustion. A slight smile on his face when he turned on his phone, only for it to drop when he read the text.

“Urgent. Coffee shop on the South. Now.” The text had read. His stomach dropped low, too far for him to pick it back up.

With the feeling of anxiety and bile rising, he frantically searched the shop, pulling the hood from his head down. There wasn't a single red hair in the room. He was in the wrong place. He could never get a damn thing right. About to check the text again, he paused at a limp and angular figure sitting in the center of the cafe. The old man was hiding his scarred face behind the tip of his hat and, stalking towards the table, Kylo straightened his shoulders.

Now he sat before Snoke, patiently waiting for him to speak. Snoke gazed at him, eyes glinting in the soft orange glow of the room. The chatter in the room turned to a buzz no matter how hard Kylo tried to concentrate on their conversations. There was almost nothing to keep him occupied with the cold eyes tearing through his neck, lips, jaw. He wanted to vomit. Fumbling with the edges of his sleeves, he jumped when a low rumble trudged through his ears.

“I’ve been watching you…” Anxiety. Again, it was always anxiety with him. The fumbling grew faster with each silent second passed. Did he find out about the letters? Or maybe it was Hux again. There wasn’t a relationship, he knew. A small sliver of giddiness burst through him but he quickly shoved it down. This was not the time.

“Have I done something wrong?” Of course he did something wrong, yet he asked anyways. The silence had to be filled.

“Emotional attachments will get in the way of the goal, Kylo.” The cold eyes finally seeped into his deep brown, probing, stabbing. Several people rushed through his head at once. Hux, Poe, Rey, everyone. “You are to leave to another area.” He stood, silencing Kylo’s attempt at protests. Bony fingers grippe the handle of his coffee and Kylo watched as the liquid poured onto Kylo’s hands and chest. Snoke then smashed the cup onto Kylo’s hands. He tried not to flinch.

He was soaked to the bone. A small yelp escaped his lips, one he knew he would come to regret later. Conversations around them halted, skimming the surface of uneasiness.It was hot, the coffee etching through his skin, soaking his sleeves that now steamed. He wanted to scream as the pain increased. Lips unmoving, he kept his muscles still, fearing that Snoke would strike again. No one stood to help, no one muttered a word. They were all scared like him, glued to their seats, tongues stitched to the roofs of their mouths.

“You know what I’m capable of,” he now loomed over him, a finger under his chin. He tried to crane his head the other way, the tears threatening to fall, but he was held in place, “and because you’ve grown attached to some _related_ to the enemy…” Snoke trailed off, dragging his yellow nail roughly under Kylo’s chin then, stood and left. He knew he had to follow but he couldn't will his limbs to move. Slowing thickly several times, he tried to control the hitching of his breathing, trying to keep the screams at bay. Body shaking again, he bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling.

Standing with his trembling legs, he made his way through the door, his face stiff and betraying no emotion.

The ride to the headquarters was menacing. Kylo was an idiot, he was an idiot. He knows it, everyone knows it. He deserved what was coming, of course he did. He deserved no less. Compassion is outlawed, he knows. Yet he couldn't keep it away, couldn't keep it from seducing him with a promising future. No, he was weak. Snoke would make him stronger.

He kept repeating this speech in his head, shivering in the presence of Snoke. Even though he sat in the back surrounded by other guards, Snoke was still there, staring. He was always staring. Kylo sometimes wondered how Snoke viewed him. It almost always felt like Kylo wasn’t a person but a walking vessel of… Something that Snoke desired. Though the queasiness slashed through him with the thought of it, he brushed it aside. Snoke had helped him more than anyone is his family had and for that, he could take anything he wanted. Even his name. 

The lights outside the car dimmed. They arrived at the base, the garage door closing silently behind them before the car was killed. Rough hands shoved him out the door and he fell to his knees outside the door. A bubble burst in his stomach and he shoved back at the hands, rising in fury.

“I’ll have you know I’m of higher rank than you, asshole!” Teeth bared, he advanced the guard. The pierce of sharp nails stopped him in his tracks and he begged the anger in him to quell.

“Enough.” Snoke gripped him by the back of the neck, “ You’re in enough trouble as in, unless you’d like more?” The thin lips hovered by his ear.

“No.” Quivering, he tried to gently shake himself from Snoke’s grip. His attempts led to no avail, his eyes now pleading with the floor.

“No what?” He inquired. A warm liquid pooled beneath the old man’s nails.

“No, master.” Kylo submitted, shoulders relaxing in relief when his presence was gone. He still did not dare look up.

“Come with me, child.” And so he did, following Snoke down the hallway and through several rooms. Kylo pulled his hood up when they neared a group of people, Hux included. He should've felt happy when he saw him, but instead he scowled in Hux’s direction. A heavy sneer was returned before his voice echoed across the room.

“Got yourself into trouble again. I’m assuming,” the blue eyes now in front of him, Kylo glared, “it was something horrible with the beautiful way your hands are now scarring.” Hux feigned care, lips pouting before he pushed Kylo back to Snoke’s direction.

“For your sake, I suggest you stop moving that tongue of yours, Hux.” Kylo spat back, voice low and sharp. Hux paused, dragging his hatred into Kylo. He knew he hated him, what else would Hux feel for Kylo. Snoke neared the both of them, a smile playing on his lips.

“Hux, take Kylo to the chamber.” Hux smiled, nodded, and waited for Kylo to follow.

The chamber wasn’t what Kylo was expecting. That was meant for traitors, deserters, enemies. Stomaching his fear, confusion, and anger, Kylo continued to follow, ignoring the pain that laced his skin.

Kylo was led to the chair, his arms strapped, metal to skin. The man who had taken care of Kylo frowned at his chest and hands then stared at Hux.

“Sir, he’s injured. If we could perhaps treat the wou—”

“No, he will proceed with the charges just as the Supreme Leader had appointed.” The man nodded, strapping the metal back on, connecting the wires to each nerve, several to his spine, neck, and skull.

The electric shocks ran through his body, flowing through his veins. Kylo’s screams flooded the room, muscles spasming with each blow. Hux stood at the end of the room, watching him with a stoic expression, commanding the man to increase the voltage every once in a while.

After a short barked order from Hux, the shocks subsided. Kylo’s muscles still ached, they were still stiff and raw. Knowing he could do nothing about it strapped to a chair, he sat and stared at the ceiling. His memory was fuzzy, the months before this event forgotten. A few memories clung in the back of his skull but they were insignificant. He welcomed the pain after a while. He felt alive, new. A smile painting his face, he tried to focus his eyes on Hux.

“Careful, Ren, that your personal interest does not interfere with orders from Supreme Leader Snoke.” Kylo could only nod, struggling to keep his consciousness as he was carried to the medical bay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the shit gets started. Or essentially, TFA plot in modern AU. Don't worry, I'll be getting to Rey's characterization and NO, I'm not making Finn a simple "best friend/third wheel" type of thing. Rest ur hearts, Finn will be served justice and everything. He will be just as conflicted and emotional as Rey and Kylo.


End file.
